The Calm Inbetween Two Storms

It's that weird time between Christmas and New Year, no one has anything to do, no one even seems to know what day it is (Wednesday apparently). There's lots of sitting around and doing not very much. It's the calm inbetween two storms. But for me it's the most exciting time of the year (save for New Year's day, but those of you who know me will know how excited I get about that).

At the moment, I'm sat on my friend Mel's sofa, under a duvet, watching Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (one of the best cartoons EVER). But my mind is still whirring. Not that I'm doing anything about the whirrings yet, that won't happen until I get back to Greenwich later. But I love that they're there.

Whirring and whirring. Asking me what's going to happen next year. What's going to happen? What's going to make 2010 kick ass?

And whilst I'm not a fan of New Year resolutions (if there's a sure fire way to get me to do something, just tell me I'm not allowed to do it - surely you know this by now?), I'm still a big fan of making good things happen. I've spent the last year (thoroughly loving) being caught up in work and Domestic Sluttery. But I need some balance now. I need to start doing things that I want to do. Because my work is so much fun, and the website is awesome, but I do need to realise that it's just a website. It's not my whole life. It's not who I am, it's what I do, if that makes sense. Basically, it's time to kick 2010 into gear.

So in no particular order, here are some things that I want to do this year (there are more, but you'll have to wait for those, this is most definitely a two-parter):

• Read more! Sure, this is mostly because I want to start my MA next year, but it's mostly for me. I've stopped reading. I don't have a commute into town every day, and because I work from home, I have to make an effort to read. Working from home means that you kid yourself into thinking you have no free time. I have to stop working to read. I don't like this balance. It's about time it changed. (This was mostly inspired by Dan Worth who is never ever without a book and has read at least a billion in the last year). Luckily, my folks bought me lots of books, and I'm reading my friend's copy of The Book Of Lost Things. It's brilliant, so I'm off to a very good start.
  
• See more bands. I go in waves and bursts with music. Mostly because I don't listen to music when I work. Listening to music when I work generally ends in air drumming and dancing about. Which is fun, but not exactly productive. So if I'm busy, I forget to listen to any new stuff for ages, and by the time I find out about a new cool band, they've either split up, or they're not cool anymore. But the thing is, I love live music. I just need to find my groove again. I've kick-started this by buying tickets for the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club in April.

• Finish the book. The early part of 2010 will be known as the year of the book. Just you wait. It's too cold to go out anyway, that damn novel is going to be finished very very soon. Luckily, this month I can either procrastinate writing the book and do my tax return, or vice versa. Both will work in my favour.
  

• Learn how to use my camera properly. Someone very lovely gave me a Canon 20d late this summer and it turns out that I can take a pretty decent photo (this one of Jess is probably my favourite of 2009). But I still have no idea what all of the buttons on my SLR do. And I really should use my camera more. So, after James reminded me of Noticings, I've realised how much I want to get better at photography. Get to see London in a different way, do something new. Whether I'll play along with Noticings, or make up my own rules is yet to be decided. Probably a sprinkling of both.
• Go places. I know travelling is a cop-out. That's not what I mean. Everyone wants to travel more. But there's a list of places I've wanted to go to for years. You want that list? OK then. Croatia, Ireland (nay, Galway), Maida Vale (I know it's bloody ridiculous that I've never been, but in my defense, Greenwich is really really far away), Cornwall, Athens, New York, San Fransisco and Port Merrion. I imagine I'll start with Maida Vale. Seems sensible. It's more about being willing to put down the laptop, grab my camera and notebook and jump on a plane or a train. All of the places I've been this year have been very last minute. That's made them more fun.

I think that's my plan for 2010. Have more fun. Take more risks. Jump at more opportunities. Have more conversations, make new friends. Be happier, judge people less. More of the good stuff, less of the bad. Making the most of my time. Seeing what happens. Being more willing to say yes. The year two thousand and ten is very much about doing.

I can't wait.

Fabulous picture of Greenwich Park by Hozinja. I hope it looks like that when I get home.

Happy Holidays

Tomorrow I go home for Christmas.

I'm spending more time up in the countryside than usual (five days in North Wales, three days in Shropshire) and I'm so excited. Because for reasons I don't need to get into, I'm looking forward to Christmas for the first time in four years.

It's difficult to explain how excited I am about Christmas this year. It's totally different to any Christmas I can remember. I'm giddy with the thought of going home tomorrow. I can't wait to get my presents ready tomorrow before I catch my train (need to find Christmas stockings, need to pack crafty things to make cards on the train). I have no idea if my train from Euston will run on time (if at all) and I don't really care. My dad might have to come and pick me up from Birmingham if I get really stuck. Heh. My folks live in North Wales, I'm sure he'll look forward to that phone call. But it doesn't matter. Because I don't care how I get there, I just will. So it's OK.

Christmas is pretty chilled out at home. It's just my parents, and me and my brother. And some purry cats to play with too. It's quiet. Hanging with friends and family on Christmas eve (especially my Gran who is in a nursing home, whom I miss terribly), my Dad's mince pies, yummy Christmas dinner (never turkey) soap Christmas specials. Presents. Hanging out with my parents. Getting pissed on cheap wine and watching romcoms with my Mum. I've got exciting presents for my family this year. Stuff they're not expecting. But that's not why I'm excited.

I'm excited because I'll be going home to see my family.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you're having a wonderful time, wherever you are for the holidays.

Life is Beautiful

I can't remember when I last fell in love with a film. But after watching Life is Beautiful this afternoon, I want to work my way through every single Roberto Benigni has ever touched, just to see if there's a film as magical. It's the most charming film I've ever seen. That doesn't stop it being completely heart-breaking though.

There aren't many films that make you laugh and cry in the same breath. It's magical. Rather depressingly, the comments on YouTube say the first half sucks (where do YouTube commentors come from, seriously?) But the first half of the film totally sweeps you off your feet. You're totally behind the protagonist Guido (played by Roberto Benigni who also directed and won an Oscar for his performance) and despite him being a bit of a chancer, he's adorable. He doesn't con people, he thinks on his feet. Everything is simple to him. He does what he needs to do to be happy. And he does what he needs to do to protect his family.

Somehow even the terribly sad second half is still whimsical, still charming and funny. It never stops being light. The film doesn't play on the seriousness of WWII. You don't need to play on the seriousness of a war. It doesn't need to be said and the film is all the better for it. It's the perfect example of showing and not telling. Everything is understated.

Small things are big things.

I had a conversation with Dave over dinner last night about our top five films. Life is Beautiful might have just made its way into my top five.

The Sway and London Bloggers Meet-up

I was asked to do a short talk at London Bloggers Meet-up. To people I know and like and respect. After being on live television more than once, honestly nothing was scarier than standing in front of a room full of people you know and like. Because they listen.

Luckily, Domestic Sluttery also provided cakes and biscuits. People are much nicer to you after you've given them cheesecake brownies. I'm not necessarily very good at talking in public (I've only done it twice), but in life I tend to jabber like an idiot. I have a lot of things in my head, and sometimes it's difficult to get them out in any kind of order (it's especially difficult if you print your notes out in a tiny font and don't wear your glasses). There hasn't been an occasion when I'm talking in public and think to myself "OMG people are paying attention". That's when I stutter, go red and stumble over my words. Luckily the guys at LBM were kind enough to see past that and say nice things.

For those of you who weren't there, here's some of what I talked about, put more eloquently than I did that night. I talked about things you should do when you're blogging. Which was much more positive than it sounds.

• Don't look ugly - get a pretty theme, use a format you like, always use photos of videos. Make things pretty. No one likes blog posts without pictures. My first blog had no pictures for months because I didn't think they mattered. I'm sometimes really stupid.
• Don't rant - Passive agression, "being honest", being a bitch is all a bit dull. So is being controversial just for the sake of it. Have something to say. Or, shut up.
• Don't assume you know best - other bloggers in your field do know better than you, checking facts and getting the full story is vital to get blogging, yet so often ignored.
• Don't expect people to agree - even if you're making a good point, people will disagree. That's no bad thing as long as you stand by what you're saying. Link back to conversation and others will do the same. It's not the same as having a blog troll (aren't they fun), people disagreeing is for the most part quite fun. It sparks new thoughts, new conversation and inspiration. What's bad about that?
• Don't ignore your readers - REPLY TO COMMENTS! Even the negative ones. In fact, especially the negative ones. If someone has made the effort to comment, make the effort to reply.
• Don't ignore other bloggers - read more blogs, write more comments, talk to more bloggers. Being a better reader makes you a better blogger.
• Don't forget to ask for help - if there's something you can't do, ask someone to show you how. That way your blog is better. I can't do HTML. It's been known to make me cry. I get help with this.
• Don't give up - find something you're passionate about, if something isn't working, change it. Just keep blogging, get better. I've had three personal blogs, and one failed online project. Not everything you try and do will work. And that's OK.
• Don't blog if you don't want to. Take yourself offline. Don't feel bad for not blogging.
• Don't listen to me. Do it yourself, fuck up all on your own. Start over. Get better. The best way to enjoy blogging is to make mistakes. Sure, everything stays online, but it's a rolling commentary, your writing and your opinions will change. Enjoy blogging because your blog is your own. There's nothing better than that. It's sometimes the only place you can write uncensored, and that's a pretty amazing thing.

That's what I talked about whilst people munched on cake. People seemed to respond well to it, event laughed in places, and a couple of newbie bloggers even said they learnt something which was lovely.

Last week was The Sway, which I wasn't meant to talk at, but am apparently much more microphone grabby at this event. I booked the speakers at the last Sway (contact me if you want to get involved in speaking, or indeed sponsoring the next event) and everyone had a great time. Huge thanks to Whatleydude, Matt Churchill, Dan Shore and Gary Andrews for coming along and agreeing to speak. I wasn't expecting to talk, but Lastminute.com were there so it was nice to say a bit on their behalf (I've done some work on their iPhone app recently).

Both events are brilliant, and both very different. I like the chilled-out side of LBM. I like that it doesn't feel like at networking event. But I like that the Sway does. I enjoy the debates, I like it getting all a bit Trisha. I've got two new clients after talking to people at The Sway. Two! If you're a blogger looking for work, and you're not at the next event, you're missing out. Besides, the Skimlinks team are pretty awesome so it's fun to hang out with all of them. What I like about both events is how welcoming they are. Not just to industry veterans like James, but to newbies as well. Bloggers get a reputation for being cliquey, and sometimes I think that's true. But none of that is apparent at these events. Everyone is friendly, everyone's opinion is valid. It's exactly how blogging events should be. Taking online discussion and continuing it offline. Over beer.

And well, this speaking in public malarkey is getting kinda fun. Who knew?

My Grandad was Santa

My Grandad was Santa.

Every year, my grandparent's local pub would have a Christmas party. Mostly for the kids in the area. The parents would get tipsy in the other room and we'd have games and cheese and pineapple on sticks and get to meet Santa and get a present. I had no idea, until years down the line that my Grandad was Santa.

But apparently when I was around 6, I sat on Santa's knee and spent five minutes telling Santa how much he looked like my Grandad. I was so excited, and was so looking forward to telling my Grandad that he exactly looked like Santa. I imagine there was an awful lot of people holding their breath in that room waiting to see if I was going to discover that it wasn't Santa at all.

I don't remember this at all, but I remember my Gran telling me about it at my Grandad's funeral ten years ago. It's one of my favourite memories of my Grandad, even though I don't remember it at all. Does that make sense? Christmas as a kid started on Christmas eve, at my Grandparent's houses. Mince pies, bad telly. Cups of overly sweet tea. Noel's House Party. We were completely spoilt by our grandparents, and there are a fair few cousins as well. But Christmas for my Grandad was always about us. Making us smile.

Christmas is a lot quieter now.

Flickr image from Flowery *L*u*z*a's photostream.

Things I'm dreaming about - Going back to school

I miss University. I miss studying English Literature.

I don't miss being a student (although that no tax thing is nice), that's not what I mean. I miss learning. I miss someone so much more brilliant than me, telling me why a book I like by someone more brilliant than them is important. Because it is. All of it's important.

And I only feel like I scratched the tip of this huge pile of important. Everything about words, and stories fascinates me. Especially the bits I don't know about. Because they're like exciting secrets. I'm curious about everything. I want to know what's in the middle of a book, or even what's over that page that I haven't got to yet. I want to learn about all of the things that aren't said on the page. They're my favourite bits. Somehow, sometimes, they seem more important than the rest of the work.

So I'm applying for an English Literature MA. At Westminster. It's a staggeringly good University (I went to Greenwich, which is not, even thought it's damn pretty). The prospect scares the hell out of me, but I think I know that's because I want to do this so much. I've toyed with the idea of applying for NYU. I've always had the dream of studying English at NYU, but that course there doesn't make sense for me. It doesn't feel right. Westminster does. The course spans everything from Urban Culture, London, Victorian English. Basically everything I've ever been fascinated in, all on one course, that I can do over 2 years while still freelancing. Twenty minutes away from my house.

That's why I'm nervous. I'm only applying for one MA. I don't think it's like Uni, where you apply to all the good courses and see which one you get (although, when I did that I realised later that I only wanted to go to Greenwich). I'm not doing an MA because I have to. I don't need to for my career. It's just something that I really really want to do. And I really really want to do this one.

I want to go back to school.

Flickr image from CarbonNYC's photostream.

Things I'm dreaming about - New Year

This time last year, I was falling in love with a guy who would never love me back. I spent the whole of Christmas and New Year hidden away. In fact, New Year at Cate's completely passed me by. I talked to people, I smiled, I had a few drinks. I couldn't have been more detached from the whole evening. Whilst everyone was cheering at the countdown, I was completely heartbroken.

But I love New Year. So much more than Christmas. It's a completely new start. It's the one day of the year where everything really does start afresh. My head was a complete mess this year. It was horrible. I spent the first two months of 2009 holding my breath because I had no idea what was going to happen. I put my happiness in someone else's hands. I'll never ever do that again.

Despite this, my excitement about New Year never wains. It's full of so much hope. And I'm full of so much hope. Already, I'm excited about what might happen in 2010. I'm enjoying just writing '2010'. All the mistakes that I've made this year, I can put behind me. All the things I never got around to doing, I can give priority to. The things I was too afraid to do this year, I can kick the ass out of next year. The calm after Christmas is utter bliss. I know some people get bored of those few days between Christmas and New Year, but I don't. I'm busy.

Clearing out, getting ready. Preparing.

Because once you wake up on New Year, everything is new again. You can't fix a broken heart just because the year has changed, but I firmly believe that you can fix everything else.

Flickr image from Amanda M Hatfield's photostream.

Things I'm dreaming about - Paris

In case you hadn't heard me banging on about it all this week, I'm sick. Well, I have a cold but I haven't done anything for three days and I'm going stir crazy. Pauline from We Are Social just emailed me asking if I wanted to try and win a trip to Paris with Le Nouveau. And y'know, I kinda do. That would make me smiley and it'll give me something to do instead of being sick and grumpy. I just have to write a blog post about my dream Paris trip (if any of you get shirty about this being 'sponsored content', I'll sneeze on you). As some of you know, I've been to Paris recently, but I didn't really get to see any of it. I'd love to go back and explore more.

And I know there's all sorts of really important stuff in Paris - the Louvre and things like that. But I just like walking around new places. Nosing down little cobbled street and looking for something of nothing. I like getting lost in cities. I always seem to find the most interesting places when I'm lost.

But, whilst I'm getting lost, there's some things I'd definitely like to be doing whilst I'm here. And for the benefits of not blathering on about how stunning Paris is, and the fact I think the Lemsip effects are wearing off, here's a little bullet point list of things I'd do if I had a spare grand to spend in Paris.

• Macarons! Yummy yummy macarons! I don't just want to eat them, and buy them, and then eat those on the train home, I want to learn how to make them! Because mine come out all cracked. They're yummy and pretty and perfect so I'd love to do a little pastry course.
  
• I very much want to stay here. Because haven't you always wanted a tailored scent wafted through the air con of your hotel room? No? Just me?
• I'd quite like to stay here as well, but it's £900 a night. Ouch. But, it is like your own little personal hotel and that would be fun.
• The Moulin Rouge! I caught a glimpse of the famous club whilst on my way back to the station. In my head, it's exactly like it is in the film. Don't any of you ruin it by telling me otherwise.
  
  
  
• Y'know, my next trip to Paris had better include me walking to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Yes I know it's a very very very long way and I'm very very very unfit. I don't care. You can stay at the bottom if you want. As long as you promise to take a photo of me at the top.
• I'd pop to Antoine Et Lili and snap up all of their lovely dresses. Their website is fun.
• Try on fancy designer clothes. Because, y'know, that's fun even if you can't afford them. I definitely should not try on Chanel. No. That would be bad of me. I'll end up robbing banks or something. But some new shoes whilst wondering about is pretty likely.
  
• Little tiny bistros. That's exciting too. Just little tiny places to eat yummy food. In my head, they play the accordion in the corner and everything is drenched in red wine sauce. Yummy.

But honestly, exploring and walking along the river, popping into little shops and bakeries and playing around. Sitting under the Eiffel Tower and kinda being in awe of how beautiful it is (really, look at the lines of the structure and tell me it's not the sexiest tower ever). All of Paris is sexy, isn't it? Maybe I'll wear hats in Paris, and red lipstick, and look all mysterious. Parisian chic is one of those things that isn't a myth. Which is really rather annoying because in reality, I'll be all red in the face from climbing the Eiffel Tower, my new shoes will be pinching my feet and I'll have macaron crumbs all over my pretty new dress.

But that'll be all sorts of fun. Not chic, but definitely fun.

Flickr image from tibchris' photostream.

Decemberry Christmassy Happy

Hurrah! December! Yay!

If I push thoughts of my tax return to the back of my head, December is pretty exciting. It's Christmas day in 25 days! It's Christmas Eve in 24 days! It's Christmas Eve Eve in... you get the point. Tomorrow I'm going to go to the corner shop in the morning and buy the shittest advent calendar I can find because the shit ones are somehow better than good ones. Here are some things that make me very happy this time of year.

The Toys R Us advert.



I get so excited by Toys R Us that I used to get annoyed at my parents if they went the short way home from my Nans and we didn't drive past it. Just looking at it made me excited like a kitten. ALL THE TOYS IN THE WORLD! Millions says Jeffrey! The advert still does the same thing now. I don't want DVDs for Christmas! I don't want books! I want Barbie and plastic food! My Little Pony! I still get excited when I drive past ANY Toys R Us.

Santa Claus: The Movie



This was always on when we arrived at my Grandparents on Christmas eve. We'd watch it all the way through and then leave with lots of presents. I love this film. Dudley Moore is brilliant in it. Really. It's what Christmas should really be about. If ITV shift this to New Year's Eve again, I'll be writing strongly worded letters.

Slade.



This isn't my favourite Christmas song. My favourite Christmassy song is Let it Snow, but this one sums up Christmas for me. It reminds me of my Dad dancing (and only Dads can really dance to this song). It reminds me of being a kid. The Christmas discos my Dad's old office would have for all the kids. They were ace. We'd get a present and dance and it was fun.

The Argos Catalogue.



Argos is shit, isn't it? But when you were a kid, my goodness it was the best thing ever. Christmas lists all over the country were scribbled after looking through that book. Page numbers, codes, colours, all logged down. I'd spend HOURS making Christmas lists. HOURS.


Driving past houses with really really good Christmas lights.


When I was young, Christmas lights were everywhere (wait, did that cause this whole climate change thingy? Oh well). Now they're hardly nowhere and this makes me a bit sad. My folks would always drive past the houses with the best lights. Coming from a small town awesome Christmas lights spread like wildfire (not literally, although that probably wouldn't help climate change that much). My uncle would hear about awesome lights and tell my Gran, my Gran would tell my Grandad and he'd tell my dad, and then we'd drive all the way across town just to see them. That was fun.

For one reason or another, I haven't enjoyed Christmas much over the last few years. But this year will be different, I'm going so fucking Christmassy on your asses this year.

Merry Christmas everyone!


Flickr image of awesome Christmas lights from francisco_osorio's photostream.