When does personal value take over monetary value?

In the last year, I've become more aware about just how much emphasis we put on the value of our belongings. Despite what some people think, Domestic Sluttery isn't about being frivolous. In fact, I believe it's the very opposite. Sure, we feature things that are seemingly of little consequence, things that don't matter to real life. But they do, because they make people happy. The women (and indeed men) who read Domestic Sluttery save to buy certain things because they love them. Everything we feature on the site is something that someone will cherish.

But there are some things that some people just don't get. I wrote a post earlier this year about really fabulous lingerie. Stuff that any woman would be thrilled to wear. Sure, some of it was expensive, but to me, it's worth it. Because sexy lingerie can make you feel like a different person. Hell, even matching underwear can do that. But a lot of women reading just didn't get it. They'd squeee over a £200 pair of shoes, but not a £200 lingerie set. Because it's not on show. Not everyone will see it. Why spend all that money on something that no one will see?

Which got me thinking. When does personal value, take over monetary value? When does something become priceless to you?

One of the most valuable things I own has only been seen by around three people. It's a gold Victorian brooch (circa 1830s if I'm not mistaken) and I snapped it up for a song on eBay. My reckoning is that it's worth a fair few hundred, maybe close on a grand (this might be slightly off the mark, but I trust my rather obsessive research into antique jewellery). I paid £32 for it. I would have paid three times that, had my maximum bid been reached (I was in a full-time job when I bought it four years ago). It's gorgeous. But it's too precious to put it with the rest of my jewellery, so I hide it away. Because it's not for anyone else. I bought it for me. Sometimes I get it out just to have a peek, but then it goes away again safely.

So why buy it? Because I wanted it. For me. And no one else. Partly because I've now got a rather beautiful heirloom, but also, because it's special. It's a really special piece of jewellery and well, I wanted it. Even if no one sees it.

When you look around someone's house, you can usually see what's special to them. It's the stuff on show. The artwork above my bed, the jewellery hanging from the birdcage. The collection of notebooks hidden away on the shelf. The dress I hang on my door rather than in my wardrobe. It's on display for a reason. Because I want you too see it. But then there's the other stuff that we hide away (does everyone else use a shoe box? Is that just me?) Sometimes the stuff the no one sees is the most priceless. The things that have no monetary value. but they mean something to us. Even if you couldn't (or wouldn't want to) explain why to anyone else. I have a snooker ball and some dried flowers in mine. The flowers are almost 15 years old. They're from the south of France. And the one and only time I've ever been given flowers by someone I was in love with. I treasure them as much as my antique jewellery.

Our material possessions are much more about personal expression then they are about buying things. I don't love 'stuff'. I love good design. Good design gives me butterflies. It gets me excited. That's why I buy stuff that I love. Because it expresses who I am. And yes, shoes are a great way to do that. So is vintage jewellery. To me, anyway.

We're judged on what we wear, and the things we buy. But I don't think that's always fair. Because you have no right to question someone's personal values. And that's what taste is a lot of the time. I don't mean value in a moral context, I mean the literal personal value that you would put on something. That tatty old bag you carry around with you might be worth nothing to anyone else, but to you, it's everything. It's memories, emotions, feelings and all of that is important. How do you put a price on that? Only you can.

My point is, something doesn't need to be seen by someone to be worth something. And sometimes you'll never understand the worth of something that belongs to someone else. Because it's not your worth. Personal value is just that. It's not for other people to judge.

Flickr image from banspy's photostream.