Personal branding is something that I've always found strange. As a freelancer, you sell yourself every single day. I think that's true in any job, but it's more constant in freelancing. You give your potential employers the very best version of yourself. Even if that's not the case all the time, you gloss over the bad stuff. And no one would blame you for that (I'm actually ridiculously honest in job interviews, it often gets me hired).
Having a personal or professional brand is No Bad Thing. But I think people sometimes mistake the brand for the person. And that worries me.
Before I carry on and get lynched, let me clarify something: I believe 100% in Domestic Sluttery. It's my website and I adore it. It's a huge part of my life. The biggest part of my professional life. I sometimes spend more time in my day being a Domestic Slut, than I do anything else (including sleeping). I love my website, I love everything that it embodies and I don't want anyone to doubt that. But it's not who I am. It's what I do. And it's not just me behind that brand. There are a whole bunch of lovely girls backing it up. And we're not the epitome of Domestic Sluts all the time.
I drink beer (a lot). I wear flats. Today I look like a bit rubbish (although my hair has curled randomly, and that's pretty). I actually admitted to Stu recently that am the moment I'm preferring biscuits to cupcakes. And yes, there was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek uproar when I told the Domestic Sluttery Facebook page that I was having a Pot Noodle for dinner. I don't, despite playing up to it, prance about in dresses making cakes all day and curling my hair. I'm more than OK with that. I think most people who know me are as well. In fact, if I was the perma-happy smiley person I was on Domestic Sluttery all the time, I reckon the rest of the girls would go crazy. Or kill me in my sleep.
Last night, someone stumbled upon this blog from the link on Domestic Sluttery, and gave me a bit of a dressing down for being negative when there's "so much sweetness and light" elsewhere. The post in question was in reference to the recent mini stalker who popped up in my life. Now, I could be wrong, but I think I'm allowed to get a bit angry about the stalker in my life who did recently say that it would be a good thing if I was dead. Although the girl commenting also thinks it's OK that I'm being stalked because of the ironic use of 'stalk me' to the right of the page.
The one thing I never do on this blog, my personal blog, is apologise for being myself. And I won't ever do that. Because actually, I like me. Regular readers of this blog will know that I'm usually a positive person (happy list, anyone? Lovely email?) If something isn't great, I let things settle, then try and look at the best of things. Try and learn from my mistakes (of which there are many). But you'll also know that having had to deal with two deaths recently and being very sick, I also haven't had the best of times this year. I'm not going to be all sweetness and light about that. I'm going to be honest.
I wasn't sure whether I should merge this blog with professional stuff. I'm completely open on my blog, and yes, I do send potential clients here. Because as a freelance writer, they're hiring me. Most companies are clever enough to realise I won't swear in my copy if I swear on here (although I do have clients that positively encourage it). But they hire me to be opinionated and say it like I see it. That's not always positive. But it's the truth.
I think I'm pretty open. If you follow me on Twitter, that's very much my voice. You'd get the same if we out having cocktails. If you read my stuff here, it's my voice too. And most of the time, when you read Domestic Sluttery, that's me as well. But (and this is the bit that might shock some of you) sometimes, I play on it. A lot of the time, those cocktail recipes you read are written at 9am. I probably don't want a cocktail at 9am! And if you read everything we write, you'll see that my passion lies in unique design. Like I say, I believe in everything we're doing. I'm passionate about it. I couldn't run the site if I wasn't. But it's not the only part of my life. Just like when we say that we don't believe women should be one thing, I don't understand why people expect me to do that as well.
There is a tone on Domestic Sluttery and we follow that. I never expected that someone would take offense to take. Or imply that I had no right to be sad and admit it. I will blog if something has upset me, whether people think I should or not. Because I don't think admitting something has got to me is a bad thing. I'm human. I don't always kick ass. And sometimes, my life feels like it's falling down around my ears and I'm fucking terrified that I won't have the balls to dust myself off and fix it. There, how's that for honesty.
The difference is, I do always have the balls to dust myself off. And I do have the balls to stand up to people who hurt me. I'm very rarely this person on Domestic Sluttery because (as you can see) she's rude. I'm a nicer version of myself on Domestic Sluttery. More flirty, more tongue in cheek. And most of the time, I don't have to even try. But I'm her even if the very last thing I feel like doing is smiling. I found out my friend had passed away and then wrote five happy cheery blog posts. And actually, by the end, I was cheered up. Domestic Sluttery is nothing if not fun. And sometimes, pure escapism. I get to play with pretty plates and shoes. That's why you read the site, isn't it? Why can't that be why I write it as well?
I'm everything that Domestic Sluttery stands for. I don't want people to ever doubt that. But the girl you see on the site? She's a very happy version of me. And the Domestic Sluttery brand you love isn't just me. It's Jane and Christina and Sarah and all of the other girls who are all amazing. And every bit as honest as me once they've hung up their pinnies and made a drink.
My professional brand is just that: Professional. My personal brand does sometimes merge with that. My personality certainly does. As a freelancer, it has to. I'm OK with that. My clients are more than OK with that. And I think that it's a good thing that for the most part, the two are separate. I finish work, I live the rest of my life. I don't spend every minute of every day thinking about Domestic Sluttery. My life isn't all prettiness and lovely things. Part of it is. And y'know that part is awesome. So is the rest, mostly.
I understand that some people online just want me to be a Domestic Slut. A friend, on hearing I was going on safari remarked 'Sian does realise she'll be outside, right?' and that pissed me off a bit. I'm tougher than people realise. I like my girly side, but I like the rest too. And the rest is pretty kick ass.
If you have stumbled across here from Domestic Sluttery, and it's not what you were expecting, that's absolutely fine. I don't expect everyone to like me, just because they like my website. But I won't apologise for have a different side to my personality. As much as my personal/professional brand is a Domestic Slut, it's also a travel writer, a property writer, an events manager and an occasional social media consultant. The only thing those things have in common? They're always me. And always honest.
On Personal Branding
Posted by
Siany
Friday, 27 August 2010
Labels: branding , Domestic Sluttery , thinking , work , writing
7 comments:
A great post - it must be very difficult when you have to live with different personas. I'm lucky - I can blog, tweet and whatever as *me*. I can't imagine having to be one way when I'm feeling the other.
People who can't see the difference between one and t'other - strange beings.
Excellent post - and one I can really relate to actually. A few weeks back I was having a really tough time of it for a number of reasons. I vented something to this effect on Twitter, and someone responded with 'Oh Miss Cay, why don't you just make some cupcakes or buy some shoes?' And I lost it. I'm not proud of it, but I did.
I'm still not entirely sure why that comment annoyed me so much - I think it's because that my life was all rainbows and sprinkles and kittens and I lived for making cakes and buying stuff. I mean, I like both of those activities, but they're not the be-all and end-all of my life.
It's difficult, isn't it projecting two sides of yourself to the world. Especially as, in the industry we work in, the personal is so often intertwined with the professional. Sometimes I can't help wondering what people think of 'Miss Cay'. I'd love to think that if they took the time to get to know me, they'd realise that 'Miss Cay' and 'Christina' very often aren't the same people.
Worringly, some people might actually like the Domestic Slut version of me more than the real me. Which is nice.
I totally relate to this. I also love my websites, and, in fact, live, eat and breathe my websites some days, but as you say, it's what I do for a living, not who I am, although obviuosly there is a lot of crossover: I chose to start a blog about shoes, for instance, because I love shoes, but at the same time, I do get a bit tired of people assuming that that's all there is to me, or that it's the only thing they can ever talk to me about.
As for the "you shouldn't be negative" thing: I get this every so often on Forever Amber, and am always taken aback by it, because that's my personal blog, and it's about my life. Sure, I have a good life, and I appreciate that, but there are times when I feel sad, or depressed, or even negative about things, and I kind of resent people telling me that I'm not allowed to feel these things, or at least, not to express them. It's not Disney, you know? It's my real life, and I always find it strange that people expect me to edit it so that it's more appealing to them.
(A few months ago, I thought my holiday to the States was going to be cancelled due to the ash cloud. I was obviously upset by this - we'd have lost thousands of pounds (private villa rental, therefore no refund), and, well, no one likes to have their much-longed-for holiday cancelled at the last minute. I thought it was a reasoable thing to be annoyed about, but I was lectured in my comments sections about how "some people can't afford holidays" and how I should "be more grateful" - I mean, what for? I was grateful to be going on holiday, but I'd hardly feel grateful to have it cancelled, but still have to pay for it!
Sorry, I always seem to leave huge rants on your blog. Will stop talking now :)
Amber, I love that you leave long rants! Hello!
Thing is with our negative posts (in my opinion anyway) is that they're in a mix of happy stuff, and they're very very rarely "woe is me!" Neither of us are negative people. But we're realistic and honest. I still don't see what's wrong with that.
How can people think you're negative with all that jumping you do in photos?!
If someone uses a single Twitter account to post both personal and professional tweets, I don't think it's surprising that some followers get the two personas mixed up.
I currently tweet under three separate accounts, depending on which audience I'm tweeting to.
The difference is, Robert, we have a separate Domestic Sluttery account (it's one of the five that I run). As I've said above, I'm not all sweetness and light in my personal Twitterfeed either.
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